This is what i call a process.

hay boy...
masih inget waktu lo bilang,

"lahhh, elo mah seminggu juga palingan udah dapet lagi."

ended 05.06.2010
now 23.06.2010

hebaat kan gw, ampe tanggal segini masih ajja inget ama elo =___=" ha ha ha

lo tau ga [gw yakin lo gatau], di hape gw, dikertas-kertas gak jelas, dibuku gw, banyak tulisan-tulisan gw buat... buat apa ya, gatau hehe, gw cuman ngetik apa yang gw rasain, gw cuman ngetik apa yang pengen gw tanyain ke elo tapi gak bisa gw ungkapin, gw cuman ngetik apa yang tiba-tiba 'cling' dari otak gw...

maybe i did it because i'm a woman. yes, im a teenager who may still feel unstable and the confusion of all the flavors that i feel

.waktu itu gw kuliah, beli majalah di perpus, dapet bonus booklet gitu, horeee... \^^/
makul man.operasi gw lebih tertarik buat ngisi booklet nya daripada nyatet pelajaran di binder gw (harap jangan dicontoh)

..baiklah, gw bocorin dikit deh

Raboe, 9 june 2010

i wrote i miss you.. shortness of the time i saw you there in my twitter home. And i said i should forget you, but sorry, i lied ;(

Raboe, 9 june 2010

• why didnt i insisted to know why you leave me?

• boy! Did you know? i've almost slipped to send an sms to say good morning, good afternoon, dont forget to eat, good night, or just said i love you...

• -hay ex, you cut your hair, right? i've read your Tweet. and i cant see the haircut now ;(

• dude... hay, there will be eclips the end of this month, isnt that film that we've been waiting to watch it together? then what? you've gone. liar!

• last night, i wasnt strong enough to look at your face

• ok, now, i dont have Jacob black, to warm

• boyyyy! i miss you, really miss you, if you feel it? only five days, but why it seems so long? what are you doing there? i really miss you ;(

• ouh, i'm sorry. you told me to cry one day only, but i cried almost all day. i've tried to stop my tears, but so hard, im so sorry...

kamis, 10 june 2010

duit kuliah gw ilang! =___="
bangke banget!

gw udah cukup pusing dengan si money, eh elu masi juga nyelip nyelip dipikiran gw...
.gw curhat lagi di booklet, tentang duit! dan tentunya tentang kamu [lagi]...
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,......................................,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,..............................,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

ok, enough bocorannya...

hay jelek!
semalem lo kan yang nelpon, pake nyuruh-nyuruh si Indang buat jangan bilang2 sgala...
kenapa?
minta maap buat apa?
kenapa gak bilang langsung kalo yang gw ajak ngomong itu elo?
lo tau abis itu gw gimana?
gw nangis hei, gak ada yang nyuruh dan bukan gw yang minta buat nangis, tapi tu aer mata keluar sendiri...
kenapa?
kenapa? ;(

you never know how I felt tortured, you dont know, and not ever know...
you dont know how it feels troubled all day...
i slumped, i smile in front of people but i cried until it cant breathe!
and you never know!!

ya, saat lo mulai ngitung waktu kapan lo harus pergi,
lo tau? gw gak pernah tenang!

saat lo senyum, saat lo liat gw, lo gak tau kan apa yang ada dipikiran gw?

"stare into my eyes, say all ur feelings to me. please tell me what to do so i can understand you? how? tell me!"

yes, but i'd never say it directly,
bcause i just dont like being looked at with a look of pitty ;(

.gw gak tau lo sadar ato gak, tapi gw pernah ngetik di tweet

"if u're not able to withstand the pain, share with me in order to decrease the pain, i would even feel the pain in your place."

jadi, waktu itu lo kaya abis nangis pas abis dari mesjid, hhi...

lo tau gak boy, beberapa orang sempet nanyain lo, tapi karena gw hebat, jadi gw tetep senyum dan jawap "baik-baik aja."
haha, yayaya, sesuai kesepakatan kita...

hemm, ini mungkin sebuah proses buat gw, buat apa yah, forget you? hmm, no no no!
mungkin ini sebuah proses buat gw belajar,
..........................................................................
belajar buat menerima sesuatu yang tidak dapat kita miliki,
belajar untuk bertahan saat sesuatu yang berharga hilang dari hidup gw,
belajar untuk mengerti berbagai macam rasa,
belajar bahwa jalan ke depan masih panjang,
belajar bahwa gw masih punya banyak temen dan keluarga,
belajar bahwa meninggalkan dan ditinggalkan bukan berarti melupakan..

take it down take it slow and let it flow. everything will be oke :')